It is a weekend again, another pit stop before you fire up your work engine and get started for a gruelling week. Five days of worldly tasks, a complete package. The mundane chores, the supposedly exciting challenges at work (if you take your manager’s word for it), the fight for personal creative space and the calling of bosses cringing at the thought of you getting late on time. Having come to an end of a similar week, its time to kickback and “let it be”. Time to bid adieu to your workmates and head for wherever your soul yearns to go; though with my limited knowledge of spirituality and the metaphysical, I compare a time such as this to that of an “out of body experience” which I am told is supposedly an experience when your soul leaves your body, takes a tour around the world, has a kick arse of a time and returns to the body again. On a more worldly level, it is time to get drunk/pissed/wasted!!! So, in line with the aussie tradition, i head for a bar called “equilibrium” along with two of my other work mates. By the way, Equilibrium has earned itself a reputation of being a sophisticated new age bar with an upbeat music, conveniently located in the premises of World square enclave, in downtown Sydney. On a friday night one could find an entire office staff of the entire building heading straight to the place at the stroke of 6 O’clock in the evening. For a not so seasoned drinker like me, the atmosphere itself can be inebriating than the drink itself. For the sake of it, I settle in with a glass of toohey’s new and wait for my collegues to show up with their glass full of fancy drinks.
Simon, my workmate is the first to show up. Simon, needs no introduction. Doesn’t the name suggest the type of character one would imagine Simon to be? Straight up! directaa! an honest, hardworking (Friday is an exception) Kiwi bloke. Not to mention, an “All blacks” supporter. Talk of rugby and he can throw a gutful at any team likely to confront the all blacks. Simon, yells at me when he spots me, like a tourist in a zoo who has just spotted an exotic animal in captivity. Indiaaaaaaaanooo! there is no concept of exchanging pleasantries here. We get down to business, after throwing some creative cocktail of derogatory phrases at each other, which though would perplex an anthropologist on the origins of humankind and the existence of the vestigial race as that of urban city slickers. Simon when he is not at the gym, library, office, bar, playing solitaire, engages in creative pursuits of solving crossword puzzles in magazines with content no different than or closely associated with that of pornography. And he does so in the most unlikely places i.e. In office, trains, and any other means of public transport. In full public glare! At other times, he is an entrepreneur, working on an age old idea of introducing the most fashionable, creative, sexy, original (and some other applicable superlative adjectives) T-Shirts in the Sydney fashion industry. We conceptualise the designs for his T-Shirt and strategise on how to give Versace, Gucci, Prada and Schidell a run for their monies over drinks. The discussion usually ends on the dead, moronic and lacklustre dressing style of our immediate boss at work. Even cows can be seen with a variety of different patches on their hides but not this boss of ours. Not until Michael Jackson decides to turn black again. Anyways while we are at our best trying to keep hooliganism at respectable levels, we are joined by another workmate of mine, Evrim.
Evrim, I couldn’t explain this name in more detail as I have failed more than once to fathom the true meaning of the name. Hence I settle with labelling it as a different, beautiful and trendy name. Evrim is a beautiful girl who wouldn’t think twice before calling Simon, a Simon (derived from calling spade a spade) or an ass an ass. As the case maybe. She finds herself radio jockeying for a mainstream radio channel for regional audiences, mainly Turkish. Friday being a start of a weekend she has a late night shift scheduled tonite. We discuss lively topics, touching up on politics, both at office and otherwise. Upcoming NRL games, fashion, pide, and disgusting contests held during the course of the week. One being, Simon challenging washroom visitors at work, for the most lengthy pee of all times. The winner being conferred the title “Champ of the quarter”. I fail to relate how peeing would elevate one to being the champ of the quarter, under normal circumstances the title should revolve around a contribution made towards enhancing the financial performance of the firm.
Well as the characters evolved through the night, the music got louder, the jokes funnier and the space more crowded. This was no different than, a more than usual “after work drinks session.” Although I am not a drinker of hard liquors and subscribe to beers only I wait for the ultimate product, that of a “low calorie beer”, the dream seems ever elusive. However more than the drink itself, it is the idiotic, nonchalance and utter workplace gibberish with an equal opportunity for healthy mud slinging which draws me to a place like this. After having done our bit, we head on to wherever we intended to go. Me to my den, with a view of lying over freshly washed laundry, an ultimate paradise. Simon heads back to his hole, hopefully not attracting attention of unsuspecting fellow travellers, mistaking him for Sydney Sheldon in hay days. And Evrim to her radio station, to enthral the regional audiences of a main stream radio station with her half drunk consciousness.
I would imagine every office would have stooges like these, which complete the picture of an ideal workplace, well I do, at least at mine.
