A tourist’s view of a “Big, Fat,Warm Australian Election”

Motion creates emotion, well after a prolonged absence from penning or rather typing something down as a post, it is time i used my keyboard and type away something in relation to whatever random thoughts that crisscross my mind on an idle weekend such as this. Not to mention all of them aren’t worthy of penning  down, especially when Ur mind is choc a bloc with a collage of events,  some a  result of your own folly and the others a happy patch of memory!

Either ways, i am strolling on my wooden floor at an ungodly hour trying to sort these events out. In the scheme of things i cant help but reflect on the recently concluded Australian elections. The run up to the event was a nationally televised debate of ministers holding key portfolios from either parties, namely Labour and Liberal. As a spectator to the event, the issues and the manner in which the leadership expressed views and proposed solutions were rather interesting to me. In the same context, what struck me was the key issue of “Global Warming”……huh? Hello, “can u just rewind the Tivo?” was my only response. My mind thought my ears are full of wax causing a sound aberration which perhaps caused a translation of digital sound bytes of the word ”global warming” into “global arming” (a common denominator of news snippets these days). But nothing was further from the truth. The issue was indeed “global warming”. I spent the next ten minutes battling with the thought of how could this be an election issue when the scale of the issue at hand to begin with was “Global”. I mean wasn’t this supposed to be a domain of the “greens”? or better still, NGOs? And how can a political party formulate a response to an issue such as this, more so in the limited time-frame of which it saw itself in power?. And mind u, i am certainly not complaining regarding the quality of general natural environment which i have encountered so far in this sun burnt country.

To make this an election issue and ask the forthcoming government in power , not only to express accountability on the environmental front but also question measures which the govt will take once in power, to address an issue such as this is indeed worthy of praise. In the course of the discussion, I more than once heard accusations being made on China and India on not having done enough to contribute to this cause.

I quickly checked up on the Indian government’s stance on the issue. Apparently what i came across was that India is a signatory of the Kyoto protocol whereas Australia was not! And the per capita green house gas emission of India was less than that of Australia. However there were a lot of other interesting facts which i came across. However nothing impressed me more than the fact that this was an election issue here and on the contrary issues such as these were left for the NGO’s and other bodies in my country.

I pondered on the day when this issue would be held as a national issue and an important issue worthy of voting a government out of power. But it wasnt as simple as i thought. We are just experiencing a birth of a new nation. A nation which built to an international repute and prowess of technology. And we have not even started as yet. Issues at hand.?….umm, 1 billion population to feed, education, populist vote banks etc etc. but the brighter side of things is we are not unlike China, a factoryfloor of the world. And we dont aim to be one. Not at the cost of being unable to see what colour the sky is. black, grey or green; a result of a neighbouring “oh so freindly asbestos factory”. 

Just if you thought i am a greeny, like maneka gandhi. I am not! 

Just an honest reflection on an idle sunday at 2.48am at night by a 20 something guy on just how warm the globe is. and a question:- Can i hope to see my progeny rocking on a hammock by the beach some idle saturday without them having to worry or randomly  think about how warm the globe is!!!!?……. i would rather have them ponder about just how warm/cold,  his/her beeeeeeeeeeer is!!!……..Got that Homer!!!!

Jeez my washing machine beeper just buzzed, DAMN, energy rating 2…Atleast the laundry is done. hah  

Three Stooges down under

It is a weekend again, another pit stop before you fire up your work engine and get started for a gruelling week. Five days of  worldly tasks, a complete package. The mundane chores, the supposedly exciting challenges at work (if you take your manager’s word for it), the fight for personal creative space and the calling of  bosses cringing at the thought of you getting late on time. Having come to an end of a similar week, its time to kickback and “let it be”. Time to bid adieu to your workmates and head for wherever your soul yearns to go; though with my limited knowledge of spirituality and the metaphysical, I compare a time such as this to that of an “out of body experience” which I am told is supposedly an experience when your soul leaves your body, takes a tour around the world, has a kick arse of a time and returns to the body again. On a more worldly level, it is time to get drunk/pissed/wasted!!! So, in line with the aussie tradition, i head for a bar called “equilibrium” along with two of my other work mates. By the way, Equilibrium has earned itself a reputation of being a sophisticated new age bar with an upbeat music, conveniently located in the premises of World square enclave, in downtown Sydney. On a friday night one could find an entire office staff of the entire building heading straight to the place at the stroke of 6 O’clock in the evening. For a not so seasoned drinker like me, the atmosphere itself can be inebriating than the drink itself. For the sake of it, I settle in with a glass of toohey’s new and wait for my collegues to show up with their glass full of fancy drinks.

Simon, my workmate is the first to show up. Simon, needs no introduction. Doesn’t the name suggest the type of character one would imagine Simon to be? Straight up! directaa! an honest, hardworking (Friday is an exception) Kiwi bloke. Not to mention, an “All blacks” supporter. Talk of rugby and he can throw a gutful at any team likely to confront the all blacks. Simon, yells at me when he spots me, like a tourist in a zoo who has just spotted an exotic animal in captivity. Indiaaaaaaaanooo! there is no concept of exchanging pleasantries here. We get down to business, after throwing some creative cocktail of derogatory phrases at each other, which though would perplex an anthropologist on the origins of humankind and the existence of  the vestigial race as that of  urban city slickers. Simon when he is not at the gym, library, office, bar, playing solitaire, engages in creative pursuits of solving crossword puzzles in magazines with content no different than or closely associated with that of pornography. And he does so in the most unlikely places i.e. In office, trains, and any other means of public transport. In full public glare! At other times, he is an entrepreneur, working on an age old idea of introducing the most fashionable, creative, sexy, original (and some other applicable superlative adjectives) T-Shirts in the Sydney fashion industry. We conceptualise the designs for his T-Shirt and strategise on how to give Versace, Gucci, Prada and Schidell a run for their monies over drinks. The discussion usually ends on the dead, moronic and lacklustre dressing style of our immediate boss at work. Even cows can be seen with a variety of different patches on their hides but not this boss of ours. Not until Michael Jackson decides to turn black again. Anyways while we are at our best trying to keep hooliganism at respectable levels, we are joined by another workmate of mine, Evrim.

Evrim, I couldn’t explain this name in more detail as I have failed more than once to fathom the true meaning of the name. Hence I settle with labelling it as a different, beautiful and trendy name. Evrim is a beautiful girl who wouldn’t think twice before calling Simon, a Simon (derived from calling spade a spade) or an ass an ass. As the case maybe. She finds herself radio jockeying for a mainstream radio channel for regional audiences, mainly Turkish. Friday being a start of a weekend she has a late night shift scheduled tonite. We discuss lively topics, touching up on politics, both at office and otherwise. Upcoming NRL games, fashion, pide, and disgusting contests held during the course of the week. One being, Simon challenging washroom visitors at work, for the most lengthy pee of all times. The winner being conferred the title “Champ of the quarter”. I fail to relate how peeing would elevate one to being the champ of the quarter, under normal circumstances the title should revolve around a contribution made towards enhancing the financial performance of the firm.

Well as the characters evolved through the night, the music got louder, the jokes funnier and the space more crowded. This was no different than, a more than usual “after work drinks session.” Although I am not a drinker of hard liquors and subscribe to beers only I wait for the ultimate product, that of a “low calorie beer”, the dream seems ever elusive. However more than the drink itself, it is the idiotic, nonchalance and utter workplace gibberish with an equal opportunity for healthy mud slinging which draws me to a place like this. After having done our bit, we head on to wherever we intended to go. Me to my den, with a view of lying over freshly washed laundry, an ultimate paradise. Simon heads back to his hole, hopefully not attracting attention of unsuspecting fellow travellers, mistaking him for Sydney Sheldon in hay days. And Evrim to her radio station, to enthral the regional audiences of a main stream radio station with her half drunk consciousness.

I would imagine every office would have stooges like these, which complete the picture of an ideal workplace, well I do, at least at mine.